Today is one of those not so fun, more personal posts. I’m honestly not even sure where to start and, honestly, unsure of what to say. Well, here goes.
I never knew that I could be so happy and proud about an accomplishment and in a moment everything comes crashing down. To describe it as best I can its something like emotional whiplash. The last three days have consisted of many many tears and many many questions.
My dream of opening a studio, no matter how small, was coming true. I got all moved in and settled for the most part. I was so excited! You all were probably tired of me talking about it! Ha! Well, without going into details, Sunday morning my leaser had changed their mind and cut me off and kicked me out… 2 days into our agreement.
I’ve spent the last 72 hours asking “why?” and “how?”. Over and over again. But I’ve come to realize that those answers can and will never be answered. Because there is no explaining it. No making sense of it. No logic in the decision. No truth in it. While all of those things are so sad and make it hard to move past this season and close the door, I have a hope that not everyone has.
MY GOD IS STILL ON HIS THRONE.
He is still good. He is still constant. He is still all-powerful. He is still all knowing. He is still the creator. He is still my Savior and He is still faithful.
Today, I have realized that I don’t need the answers. It wouldn’t change things, it wouldn’t make it any easier. I just need to let the Lord comfort me in a time of great sadness and confusion.
Proverbs 29:11 says the Lord has a plan for me, a plan that doesn’t harm me; ” For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
It’s so hard to accept that the Lord knows what is best, so I am choosing to trust His word. I’m embracing this closed door and looking forward to what He will lead me to that is bigger and better.
I guess I wrote this post to give my heart a sort of outlet. Now reading back through, I hope that if you are reading this and you feel like this world is too full of hate, and sadness and deceit, that these words resonate with you. I pray that you can find a hope and peace that can only come from knowing Jesus Christ.
Thank you to those who have reached out to me and supported and encouraged me throughout this whole situation. Your words have been such a blessing! Continue to lift my family and myself up in your prayers that we might be able to seek the Lord entirely. Ultimately, we want His will do be done!